Butou no Eros
by Courtnylovesramen
Summary: Jury's allergic to idiocy, and for some reason is surrounded by it. Can one selfish idiot in particular bring her back down to Earth? NOT Jury/Utena, be warned. shoujou ai content


* * *

Buto no Eros Ch. 1 Jab up Beauty 

SKU is Be-Papas, not mine. Obviously. So…yeah. The pairings in this might seem a little random, but I think they totally work…oh well, it might just be me. Enjoy, whatever. This has yuri in it, and maybe yaoi too. Not explicit, though, so…yeah. okay, for the record, this is purley parody. please dont take it too seriously...0o

* * *

"So you think you're in love?"

"I don't _think_, I know."

"Remember what happened last time you said that?"

Jury moved her rook to put Mickey in check, but realized she'd just opened it to attack from his knight. Great.

"I never said I didn't love Shiori. I did. This is different."

Mickey sighed, shrugging slightly. In all the time they'd known each other he'd realized he couldn't really win any arguments with her. He could convince her to change her mind, but that was only with inhuman persistence and time. He didn't think his chances were so good this time.

"Okay, Jury-senpai, if that's what you think…"

"I'm not _thinking_ anything."

"I know. Check."

"Things are different this time. She's not like Shiori was. I think I'm going to tell her how I feel."

"What about Touga?"

"He can kiss my ass."

"Thought you'd say that. Checkmate, by the way."

* * *

"Utena-sama, the meeting's in thirty minutes!"

"Stop calling me that! You know it bothers me, jeez…besides, I'm not going to that stupid meeting! It doesn't matter how much he wants me to be a councilor; it's not going to happen! I came here to relax, not do more work."

Utena and Anthy were sitting on Utena's bed, watching one of Anthy's favorite shows (one of those home shopping network things, unfortunately), and Anthy was trying to get the other girl into a conversation before 10 A.M.

"Touga won't stop asking, you know."

"Well he can kiss my ass."

"I'm sure he would!"

"…The expression on your face is creepy. Stop smiling like that…"

For probably the fifth time that morning (it was six o'clock, by the way), the phone rang. "Ignore it!" Utena hissed, pulling Anthy away from the dumb thing. It was bad enough it rang constantly, but Anthy's obsession with answering it _every time_ only made it worse. The way things were going she'd never get any time to themselves. She didn't understand why Anthy's brother had to call at any time of the day, the creepy bastard.

"What if it's someone important?"

"_At a youth camp?"_

"It could be my brother."

"All the more reason not to pick it up."

In the end Anthy scolded Utena and Utena pouted on the floor.

She'd pay for her comment later, but that wouldn't stop her from moping around. Ten to one it wasn't Akio on the phone – it was Touga, calling to try to get her to come to the dumb meeting. Wasn't going to happen.

'He thinks just because his parents own this place he can push everyone around…well, he can, but that doesn't mean I'll go along with it! I have important things to do, like cleaning up after Chuchu, and making sure Anthy doesn't break her glasses and-'

"Utena-sama! It's Touga!"

"_I could've told you that without picking it up!"_

This was pretty much a tradition since last summer. Touga wanted Utena to be a camp councilor with him just so he could throw himself all over her more often. Here it was, the first day of camp, and he was already asking (even though he'd called before camp even started, EVERY DAY). For some reason when she resisted he got more determined, and when she ignored him he got more persistent. He was aggravating.

"Utena-sama, he says he lost the kitten his sister gave to him. Will you go help him look for it?"

"Oh my God, is he actually going to that length?"

"He sounds upset…"

"He's playing you like a fiddle!"

"I didn't know he could play the violin…"

"Just give me the phone!"

Either he somehow paid Anthy off or she was just pretending to be oblivious again. Maybe a little bit of both. 'How could she do this to me…' Utena thought sadly, taking the phone. 'The first thing he's going to do is ask if I'm going to the meeting. Then he'll ask if I'm wearing the dress he sent. Then he'll try to convince me to help him find that damn cat. Poor thing; he probably threw it out somewhere just for an excuse to bother me.'

"Tenjou-kun? Are you coming to the meeting? If you don't get ready now you'll be late! You're wearing the dress I sent you right? I'm sure I got the measurements right-"

"Sorry, it didn't fit. I gave it to Anthy."

"…."

"Too bad. I wouldn't have worn it anyway, you know."

"Do you always have to dress like a tomboy?"

"Yes. And no I won't help you look for your kitten which you probably purposely lost."

"Purposely lost? No, I have it being held in the Mess Hall where the meetings are held."

Before it got too unbearable, she hung up. 'Of all the things…idiot.'

It wasn't that she disliked him – it was more she disliked his actions. If playboy was an occupation then he was successful. The boy was such a womanizer he didn't even have shame chasing after Utena – who'd rejected him about fifty times. "Utena-sama?" Anthy asked, folding the bed sheets (poorly). "Didn't you used to have a crush on Touga? Just last year?"

"_No!"_

"Really? I could've sworn you did…"

"Stop it!"

Even if she _did_ happen to have had a minor _crush_ on him, that was a long time ago. Last year.

"Hey Anthy, why're you getting ready? We don't need to leave our rooms until eight. I thought we were going back to sleep after your TV show's over."

"I'm going to the meeting."

"The _councilor _meeting?"

"Yes!"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. Where do you think I've been going after school the past few weeks?"

"You said you were buying iris bulbs…"

"Did I?" Anthy asked, smiling vacantly again, knowing it would be enough to put the other girl off. As usual, it worked.

'I can't believe this…I can't let her be a councilor…Saiyonji's there…God knows what he'll put himself up to…'

Saiyonji was even worse than Touga when it came to pushiness. And, like Touga, he had a huge following of brainless girls. He'd never thought of hitting on Utena, probably because she wasn't the type of defenseless girl he usually went after. 'Poor Anthy…'

"Are you coming?" Anthy asked, rolling up the last bits of hair that hung down her shoulders. She was already out of her nightgown ready to go, subtly grinning at the pink-haired girl, knowing she would give in eventually, as usual. "But Anthy I'm sleepy…it's too early to deal with those people. I wanna sleep."

Seeing the look on Anthy's face her resolve was already faltering. Curse Anthy for knowing how to manipulate her.

"Okay. I'll just have Saiyonji tour the grounds for the first years with me."

"Like hell I'm staying now."

"Your clothes are already in the bathroom."

As she sleepily shuffled out of her bed and into the one-person bathroom, Utena couldn't help but wonder if Anthy and Touga were somehow working together to get her to go to that damn meeting. 'Just because I'm going doesn't mean I'll be a councilor…I'm just going to break Saiyonji's jaw if he tries anything, that's all…'

Whatever. No matter how she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew she'd end up being slid into it against her will. This was happening over summer break, too…

"Utena-sama! Touga's on the phone for you! He wants to know if you'll go out for lunch with him today!"

* * *

"Hurry, Nanami…we'll be late if we don't get into the car."

"Wait just a minute! I'm trying to find my other bag!"

"Do you really need that many bags for only two months away from home?"

"Yes! Have you seen the yellow bag with my curling iron?"

Nanami was peacefully making concessions with her parents. Summer camp was _not _on her list of things to do over the summer. Tennis lessons, her flower arranging class, and even the tea ceremonies she hoped to finish held a bit more priority than sharing a room with a total stranger who probably couldn't tell the difference between two designer skirts. She was doing it, but she didn't like it.

The only reason she was even going to the dumb thing was because her big brother was – their parents had bought the place from it's previous owners, and they figured it would look better to their endorsers if their children went to the camp. She didn't get to go last summer (piano lessons), and due to this some bimbo had been all over her brother (as stated by Keiko Aiko and Yuuko). Supposedly she was an upperclassman, but that didn't give her anywhere near the right to hoard Touga to herself. She was probably some uncultured clod anyways.

"But that's different now! I won't let her beat me! Let's see her try to steal him now!"

"Nanami, you're iron's already in the car. Let's go."

* * *

Checking his watch, Mickey was that it was six-twenty.

The meeting would start in ten minutes. 'But Jury-sempai and I are the only ones here…'

Touga probably wouldn't show up unless he roped Utena Tenjou into it, which since Anthy was more or less being forced to by her brother, was going to happen. Utena would be on time, but only because Anthy would. Since Touga was probably following them, he'd be on time too. Saiyonji was busy in the kendo hall, meaning he wouldn't show up at all unless he got wind of Anthy coming. Knowing this, he'd most likely show up early to every meeting. It was Miki's job to be there first, and since Jury-sempai woke early every day anyway, she'd be soon after him.

'Good…I have the time mapped out for at least a few weeks now.'

"You think too much Mickey-kun. Let it go – they'll show up or they won't. Hopefully won't."

She was leaning against the giant stained-glass rose window, her bangs hanging a thick curtain over her eyes like they usually did. And, as usual, she had an air of indifference.

"You know Jury-sempai, Touga's younger sister is joining us this year."

"Ugh. From what I've heard of her she's worse than him."

"You can't say that unless you know her…"

"She's in your grade isn't she?"

"…."

"Exactly. You know how she is. Great – a whole summer with Kiryuu versions one and two."

She complained a lot, but everyone dealt with it. The others only put up with it so much, Mickey figured, because they didn't want to get on her bad side. They thought she didn't want to be a councilor, which she didn't really. Jury-sempai hadn't told any of them, even Mickey whom she was closest to, the real reason she'd been putting up with them for two years.

He had a good guess, though, and that was all the more reason for him to let her go on her tangents. In all honesty he felt bad for her.

In a way he knew how she felt but that was a totally different set of reasons and motivations. He hoped.

"…Don't care! Get your arm off me, you sex pervert! Get some class and maybe we'll talk!"

"Tenjou-kun, you're awfully loud so early in the morning for someone with such low blood pressure."

"How do you – Anthy! Stop talking to him about me!"

"But he paid me, Utena-sama. I can get enough bulbs and seeds to last all summer."

"So easily bought off…"

With an audible groan, Jury pushed herself off the window and towards the tables, mumbling about the time. "It was so quiet without them here."

Mickey wondered how long the whole situation would last. After this school year Touga and Saiyonji would graduate, and that would most likely make Jury-sempai in charge of student affairs at the camp. If she stayed. He figured she would, but if the web she was tangled in complicated more than it already had, she'd undoubtedly quit. There was only so much she could take, and she was already far past that point. Maybe things would be different for her this time around.

'Remember what happened last time I thought that?'

* * *

"Alright, it's six-thirty and we're all here."

"Minus Saiyonji and your sister."

"Thank you, Mickey-kun. Saiyonji will show up tomorrow, I'm sure, and Nanami is still sleeping. I didn't want to wake her."

Utena was asleep on Himemiya's shoulders, who was crocheting a shapeless item and completely ignoring Touga's already pointless speech.

"…."

It bothered Jury, watching them, Himemiya especially. Just because her brother was close to the camp owners didn't give her the right to show up and not take it seriously. And then there was her tag-along, Utena Tenjou, who was audibly against being a camp councilor in every way. What was the point of showing up if they were going to act like it was some big problem?

'I act so righteous but I'm not really taking this seriously either…'

She put up the front of authority and interest in the useless camp programs, but in reality she didn't care one way or another what went on in the place. The camp's sake wasn't even why she chose to stay for so long. 'Maybe it's not even for my sake at this point…'

"Excuse me, Touga-san?"

"Yes, Himemiya? And please, call me Touga."

"Yes Touga-san. But, will the flower arranging activity still be held this year?"

Flower arranging? How was that even considered an activity? Putting daisies in a vase was a hobby (if even that), not an _activity._ 'This is ridiculous…I'll probably have to act interested so that Utena girl doesn't have a fit about it.'

"If you'd like to monitor it, then yes. I believe our Jury took it off the roster, saying it wasn't an 'activity' if I'm not mistaken."

Jury said nothing. Touga wasn't someone she needed to appease, so the effort wasn't going to be given. Maybe she'd be in the mood later. 'Maybe Touga won't sleep with every freshman. Not gonna happen.'

"-Arisuguwa-san? Is that alright with you?"

"Hm?"

Anthy's huge green eyes were prodding into her, eyelashes batting innocently as she asked Jury for answer to a question she didn't even hear. She hated that girl.

"Yes. Sure. Do what you will."

Anthy seemed pleased, so most likely Jury should've asked what it was she was agreeing to. Nothing that made that witch so happy could've been something good. Nothing. 'Ugh. Look at her, acting so bashful and maidenly. What a fraud. She's a manipulative, passive-aggressive, shady fraud. So why on Earth does no one else notice it?'

Everyone else was insane, that was why. 'This whole thing is a waste of time…but then again I've trapped myself here.'

That meeting lasted hours.

* * *

Chapter one down! Actually, I finished this a long time ago and just found it. But whatever! If you live in Washington, like I do, go outside and enjoy the 23 degree weather! Or be smart and watch FairlyOddParents 


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